Show me how defenseless you really are
Satisfied and empty inside
Well that's alright, let's give this another try
If you find your family don't you cry
In this land of make believe, dead and dry
You're so cold but you feel alive
Lay your hand on me one last time
The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
And I remember everything,
Everything I loved,
I gave it away like it wasn't enough
Sometimes I feel so cold,
Like I'm waiting around all by myself
Loneliness gets so old
I'm in the lost and found sitting on a shelf
Can you feel the pains in life?
Wrapped around you like their chains,
Restricting all your dreams
Do you wonder if there is a way,
A way to set you free
Someday we will sail away,
Lifted up on wings like eagles
We will run and will not fade away.
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
So is it you or is it me?
I know I said things that I didn't mean
But you should've known me by now
You should've known me
If you believed
When I said
I'd be better off without you
Then you never really knew me at all
If you believed
When I said
That I wouldn't be thinking about you
You thought you knew the truth but you're wrong
You're all that I need
Just tell me that you still believe
I can't undo the things that led us to this place
But I know there's something more to us than our mistakes
Yes, more lyrics.
More and
more and
more.
They seem to be all that is making sense in my tangled web of thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
Exhaustion has taken over the walls and corridors of my brain. That's all I have been able to think about. School.
Family.
Work.
Relationships
School is almost over, but that just means more stress for me. I have to get all of my missing assignments in, I need to keep on top of everything. The tests I am taking not require hours of studying, hours I do not have.
Family is so difficult. Hard to handle, hard to be around. Just plain terrible. I have no desire to be there. So I am spending so much time avoiding my step dad, avoiding sensitive topics with my mom. It's all just so.. exhausting. I have to tiptoe around my own house.
Work.. I seriously. I cannot stand work right now. I have had many false accusations go around, and I have had to sit down and have talks with managers. It really makes me sick that people think I am so easy as to do something so... so WRONG. and so... unprofessional. It really makes me sick.
Relationships. My Kyle, my friends: Ivee, Darby, Victoria, Abbey. There are so many. I don't want to try for any of them. Part of me just wants to give up. Let go. Because I am so tired of trying and getting let down. But I love all of the people in my life. And I want to keep them all around. I want to see them all, every day. So I do things, without even knowing. I just. Blahhh
I need a nap, some serious Tylenol pm, and lots and lots of vanilla coke.
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