I know I'm not exactly perfect.

I know that in this messed up crazy world, you are either loved, or hated. There really is no distinguishable "happy medium"

The pressure to be a submissive girl: giving your guy everything they want, physically, emotionally in every way, including giving yourself, is offset by the desire to be a pure and innocent child. To behave as a young woman should, with grace and kindness, security and strength. But what if there is no happy medium between these two either?

Somehow, I know the before mentioned scenarios  are linked.

Us, as humans, are a greedy kind. We can never be content with what we have. There is always something more that we are wanting, needing, lusting after, or wishing for. I feel this is part of the reason so many people are unhappy. I was unhappy for this very reason. Rather than finding ways to deal with tricky situations at hand, I looked at the world and claimed I hated every last bit of it. I looked for a way out. And I found it, but then I was faced with more tricky situations. Learning from them was even more difficult then the original problem. First was heartbroken over my ex love of nearly three and a half years, then I had (still kind of have..) a ridiculous addiction to cutting, and still to this day I have struggled with how to cope with simple every-day life situations: like crowds, or loud people.

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I know people hate me, and the way I see it, they hate me because they believed someone's false tails. They didn't want to get to know me, so they got acquainted with the me everybody made me.


I know I didn't finish this. I have been trying. I'll edit it once I finally get the idea of what I want to say.