stop right there

I woke up this morning in a decent mood. I talked to Mary yesterday, she did nothing but reassure me that everything will work out, told me that she will get me out of here, and I truly believe her. I have faith that she will get me somewhere safe.

You know what I just really can't understand? The fact that you are sitting here thinking your life is so gawd awful, when all you are doing it making it that way. You are making yourself miserable with your decisions. People have way worse things going on. We are all fighting our own kind of fight, some against the world, some against others, some against ourselves. And that's exactly what you are doing. Waging a war against yourself trying to become something you aren't. Or maybe it's something you are. I don't know. All I know is it makes me sick. That you feed on my miserablility. You syphon the joy and light in my eyes and expel it into the deapths of hell. You sick f*ck, I hate you. You make everyone feel sorry for you, because you know just about everyone who will walk your path will hate you, if they already don't. You're a old man, seriously. It's about time to GROW UP. I don't know what it is in you that makes me so sick, but part of me lusts to rip your moustche from your face and shove it down your throat.

Hahaha,I know she is sitting here reading this, thinking this is about her, but it is not. Because I have given up on that.

You know how I said we are all fighting our own fights?  I'm fighting against him. The man who is trying (and succeeding) to ruin my life.

So. I couldn't give a two f's if you hate me, I know you are going to sit here and continue to think and ponder what this is all about, but you know what this is about. Why? Becuase you were once my friend, you know all the crap that man has done to me. So. Go on hating me, spreading lies, and making my friends hate me. Because if they listened to you, they weren't true to begin with. I'll continue to respect you, continue to keep my mouth shut and my eyes averted, because I have other things in my life worth getting upset over.