"You write down a few senteces in your journal and sigh, This exhalation is not exhaustion but anticipation at the prospect of a wonderful tale exposing a notion that you only partly understand."

Forgive me for not being positive today, beloved followers. But I need to get this out some how.

I don't want to be immature and go ranting about how much I hate you, or how stupid and immature you are,  but I will say this much. And not just to you, to the whole world of people out there trying to ruin not only me but my happiness: Get a life. Please. And I mean that in a nice way. Find something that makes you happy. Like a puppy, or a hobby. Now directly at you again, open your mind to see that I have done not a single thing to make you say these things. So I have something you want, but isn't learning to let things go a part of life? Get over it, and while you're at it, YOURSELF.
I admit, I do not know you, your life, or the things that have happened in your life, but that does not show me any reason as to why you need to tear mine apart.
You see, in your mind, he is just some prize. Some item to be won, if you will. But to me, he is so much more than that. I care about his happiness, why the hell else would I have sat back and watched him be with you, without saying a word. If you care about him and like him so much, wouldn't you want nothing more than for him to be happy? I care about how he feels, rather than blowing up his phone with hurtful words towards someone he loves, or waiting for him at his house, or jeopardizing his relationship.


I can't even begin to tell you how small I feel right now. We just celebrated our one month anniversary, we just figured things out with my family, and we both just start getting back into the swing of happy, and here you come, with your twisted mind-set that you are so much better than we all are, thinking you are some perfect child, and that's just what you are a child, a vampire sucking the life out of me. Thinking you can take every one's happiness solely because you can't be happy. All because someone else, somewhere down along the line has made you cold. I can't believe I let you break me down like this, you're just a child. I can't believe it took you one class period to make those thoughts come back. To make me want to scream, yet curl up into a ball and wither away

I refuse to let you make me cold towards the world. BUT I also refuse to sit here and let you play your petty games. I really really wish you would just get over yourself, move on and let me be happy, FOR ONCE IN MY FREAKING LIFE! I did absolutely nothing to deserve you doing this to me. Now please, leave us alone. Leave me to sit here and sob until I cannot breathe. But most of all, stop sucking away at our happiness.

I wrote, and I feel better, but now I want to cry.