Little house

"I love this place
But it's haunted without you
My tired heart
Is beating so slow

Our hearts sing less than
We wanted, we wanted
Our hearts sing 'cause
We do not know, we do not know

To light the night, to help us grow
To help us grow
It is not said, I always know

You can catch me
Don't you run, don't you run
If you live another day
In this happy little house
The fire's here to stay

To light the night, to help us grow
To help us grow
It is not said, I always know

Please don't make a fuss, it won't go away
The wonder of it all
The wonder that I made
I am here to stay

I am here to stay
Stay"
This song says so much about what I feel right now.
Some parts relevant, some not.
The feelings we are equipt with are so amazing. and powerful
I feel as though I'm awe-struck laying on the cold, soild ground,
wishing for solace in the midnight.
But also I am seated, drinking in the joyus feelings of love.

On most days my mind is stuck on the former.
2 days of 7, the latter,
more days then not, Im stuck fliting from both:
My shoulders being rocked back and forth to the dizzying rhythem of some sick melody. My brain rattling feelinglessly inside my head.

I wish so much for some order to this jumble of life I live at this very moment. (I say that because I am unhappy this moment)
Contrary to what people think, I don't like or enjoy being sad.
There is a deep sense of yearning for nutrality in this whole whirwind section of my life.

I pray and wait, uneasy for this all to be some disgusting, twisted nightmare.