beautiful disaster. Jon McLaughlin

She loves her mama's lemonade, 
Hates the sound that goodbyes make.
She prays one day she'll find someone to need her.
She swears that there's no difference, 
Between the lies and compliments. 
It's all the same if everybody leaves her. 

And every magazine tells her she's not good enough, 
The pictures that she sees make her cry.

And she would change everything, everything just ask her.
Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster, 
And she just needs someone to take her home.

She's giving boys what they want, tries to act so nonchalant, 
Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction. 
She never stays the same for long,
Assuming that she'll get it wrong.
Perfect only in her imperfections. 

She's not a drama queen, 
She doesn't want to feel this way, only seventeen, but tired

She would change everything for happy ever after.
Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster,
But she just needs someone to take her home.

'Cause she's just the way she is, but no ones told her that's OK.

And she would change everything, everything just ask her. 
Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster, 

And she would change everything for happy ever after. 
Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster, 

But she just needs someone to take her home
And she just needs someone to take her home.

I need a sign to let me know you're here, All of these lines are being crossed across the atmosphere, I need to know that things are going to look up: Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup.

There's no place safe,
and no safe place to put my head,
When you feel the world shake,
From the words that are said.


I won't give up if you don't give up. <3

I haven't written a long, meaningful blog, in sooo long. Soo. Here it goess. D:

Playground school bell rings, again.

Rain clouds come to play, again.

Has no one told you she's not breathing?

There are so many reasons I have to just up and leave. So many problems I can run from. So many people to avoid. But I can't. I have to be mature, face them.

Hello, I'm your mind

Giving you someone to talk to...

"She just wanted your help! That's what you have been asking for, Douglas! She asked you to help her check the fluids, THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED!"

"Why the hell did she drive it when it was running hot? Why Sue?! Yeah, why? Huh?! Exactly! Miss perfect isn't fucking perfect now!"

"She drove 5 fuckin blocks!"

"Normal people don't do that!!"

"So she isn't normal?! You know she goes there and feels safe!"

"That's bull shit..."

*something is thrown.*

...*door slams.*

*car door slams*

the only person I have in my life (& she doesn't even give a fuck) is gone. She drives away and leaves me in the middle of the storm. Raging.

Hello,

If I smile and don't believe.

Soon I know, I'll wake, from this dream.

"Kristen, I didn't know your mom was going to drive you to work tomorrow, that's why I went and checked it without you. I just wanted you to get to work safe, I love you"

                                                              please. gtfo.

Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken.

Hello, I'm the lie, living for you

So you can hide...

I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. 

"Kristen, please come downstairs! I have to show you something" my mom hollers to me.

"Kay."

"You know I love Doug more than I have ever loved anyone. But If things dont change in a few weeks. I just. I cant do it anymore. You're a sophomore, right? Well. We can do it. I know we can. I applied for a job at parkers. Ill have more money. We could move out, It will work. I don't know how much of that argument you heard, but Kristen. You did nothing wrong.. In fact you did everything right. I love you, please don't stress out about this. I don't need your stomach acting any worse than it is. You were so smart. We were not fighting about you. Please stay healthy, You need to, not only for you but me too. I love you."

Don't cry.

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping.

Hello, I'm still here

All that's left of yesterday.